My Modern Faery Tale

So I wanted to write an entry but didn't know what about. I recently found my old notebook that I used when writing my first play. For those that don't know, which is pretty much the whole world as I am not famous or published yet, my first play is called In Doorways. It's about my coming to terms with the most pivotal relationship in my life thus far. I found my character maps which were some magazine clippings and descriptions of who I wanted my characters to be. For a whole semester these clippings were hung on my wall and gave me the inspiration to write. Finding them again was like reuniting with lost loves. I love them still so much I thought I'd try to share them with the world.

First up is the main character: Hunter. I named him after my a cousin I adore very much. His clippings were Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie and Charlie David from Dante's Cove. His description reads: Hunter is a manifestation of all the neuroses and inner conversations I've had with myself. He's less jaded than I am now. I also really wanted to explore the things I'm not so willing to admit anymore and have him vocalize them. In all the things I'm afraid to say, he isn't. In the progression of this work I want to see him grow from the impressionable bright eyed boy - to a wiser man who can still wear his heart on his sleeve.

Next is Nicole. She was also named after another dear cousin of mine that I grew up with. Her clippings were Charlotte from SATC, Natalie Portman, and Anne Hathaway. Her description reads: Nicole is THAT girl. We all know who she is. She is the girl who is always on a quest for love. I've put her in an unusual predicament with Taylor - because usually, these girls are often "hopping" from one relationship to the next, or are single for significant amounts of time. With Taylor she's stepping out of her comfort zone, being the pursuer instead of the pursued.

And then there's Alex. His name was kind of just random, although to me it's linked in a way to the guy he's actually based off. He only has one picture, and it's of a very sexy David Duchovney, a promo still from his new show Californication (which I've never seen) not from his nerdy days on X-Files. His description reads: Alex is everything to Hunter. He's the bad boy, the love of his life, the tender sweet heart but ultimately the one that got away. My goal is to show the human side of the fantasy that Hunter dreams of but also, in some respects, does realize. I want the audience to fall in love with him and hate him at the same time. But somehow, ultimately I want Alex to be the catalyst of either his own or Hunter's redemption and salvation.

And last is Rose/Terri, who was finally named Roz. I struggled with her name because at first I liked the metaphor of a rose, you know, every rose has it's thorn, Terri came from the woman who was reading her for me in my playwright class, and finally it hit me - my sister's middle name Rosalyn, shortened to Roz and partially infused with some Roz from Frasier. Her clippings are of P!nk, Kim Cattral and a pic of both Samantha and Miranda again from SATC. Her description reads: Roz is THE woman. She tells it like it is, she takes charge, and she is always true to herself. She makes no apologies and has view of the world that is beyond her years, even though she is older than Hunter & Nicole. She is kind of like the "other" side of the mirror that Nicole is for Hunter. She's publicly a bitch and privately a saint, and that's the way she likes it.

So as I am sure you can probably pick up on, I had just finished watching Sex and the City before writing this play. I wanted to write something with the voice of Carrie, but with my own twist and using my own experiences. Regardless of SATC and it's influence on my writing, these characters became their own people to me, ones that I hope to revisit again soon and continue their adventures.

I got beauty, I got heart.

tell me about a time when you were young, that was just so much fun, one of the best nights out with your friends.

why do you want to know about that?

i want to know what happiness is to you.

sometimes happiness to me is when i feel most woeful. sometimes happiness to me is when i feel the most alone. when a sad song mends my broken heart. that's when i'm reminded i'm alive. things like happiness and sorrow aren't so black and white my dear friend.

you still haven't answered the original question.

that's because i don't want to think about my friends right now.

why?

because they don't understand, they don't understand.

then let me try to understand. tell me, please. what is it you're going through?

when you experience loss like this, its not just loss of that person, its loss of a piece of your identity, a piece of your history, a piece of your happiness and sanity and it never comes back or gets better.

never is a strong word to use.

its the best word to use. its the way i feel right now. i feel like never.